A taste of the Sopranos

My sister is trying to help our father as he has finally decided to enter the era of the worldwide web. The other day she text me that she was reminding him about online scammers who claim to be legit businesses, like paypal or banks. They send you emails asking you to update your information. Papa J's response to this friendly reminder:

"If I was one of those big wigs, I would hunt them down and kill them .... If I were a big shot I'd be nice and generous and everything, but I'd have a goon squad ....I would kill 'em and right before I did it I would tell 'em why I'm doin' it. Or I'd break their legs and tell 'em to go tell their friends. Ya know, maybe I wouldn't kill them because that's against my religion, but there's nothing in my religion that says I can't break some knee caps ...!"

Intruders Beware...?

It begins in a Southern Californian home. My mother was setting out to the garage to do the laundry (that is where "laundry rooms" were manufactured in most of the homes in the old neighborhood.) Upon her arrival to the washer and dryer, she saw a man helping himself to some of the family's belongings. She went just inside the house to the kitchen where my father was and told him, briefly, what she saw. My dad ran out into the garage, the man ran away when he saw Papa J coming at him. (I would also run if I saw my Papa J coming towards me at such a velocity, and no doubt, with a crazed look in his eye.) This intruder was no match for my father who caught up to him quickly. Pops proceeded to push the man to the ground. Standing above him, pointing in the man's face, my father yelled. (My dad can yell. Nothing on this planet can shake me the way my father's yell did.) He yelled at this man, "IF YOU WANT CLOTHES...YOU COME TO THE DOOR AND YOU ASK FOR THEM!" Papa J gave this man some clothing and a jacket. He sent him on his way.

When I asked Pa about the situation, he told me that once he had him on the ground he could see exactly what items this man had chosen to take from our garage. The man was obviously in need and was stealing out of necessity, not because of criminal mindedness. I asked my dad if he was surprised that the man didn't ever come back and actually come to the door and ask for clothing. Papa J just laughed...reflecting...and said, "No."